At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
