i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
even my farts smell like vagina
it was like eating out sand paper
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
