So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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