If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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