I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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