got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
