awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
