what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
