their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
