my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
