I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
