So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
