You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
