nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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