Pants 0. Shit 1.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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