We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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