May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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