dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Farmville is her only friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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