I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
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She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize