You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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