butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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