I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize