I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
