We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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