Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
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You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize