You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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