Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
