and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
