i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
