Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
