Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
