They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
