but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
