Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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