It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
