Whod you bang
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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