Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
