My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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