remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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