I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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