I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
