"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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