I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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