i don't like sucking hair
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
