so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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