Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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