yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
