this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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