no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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