woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
