Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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