I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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