So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
