I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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