I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
People in love make me want to vomit
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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