I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
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We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize