That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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