dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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