Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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