you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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