All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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