I got chris browned last night
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I am one with the molecules
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
