There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
