Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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